cherrylng: (Default)
2017-07-20 08:16 am

(no subject)

I've had phlegm and mucus in my nose and throat before that left me with coughing out sputum and a sore throat before. But this is the first time that it resulted in affecting my vocal chords and making it hard for me to speak. Time for the doctor's touch then.
cherrylng: (Default)
2017-05-09 10:35 pm

(no subject)

Whenever I look at other people's journal entries online, I think back of mine, the ones that I wrote at long lengths years ago. But then after 2013, I just stopped. I just kept my thoughts to myself. If anyone wanted to know what I think to say, I tell them in chat messages, but rarely or never as a post.

In some ways, it's seen as a sign of maturing to the older people in my life and the imaginary ones in my head, because I'm actually thinking before I say things. But at the same time, it feels... isolating. To be this cautious as a young adult compared to the times when I was a teenager and learning stuff and talking... is it really worth it for me to let myself become this quiet? Like a known entity, yet an enigma at the same time, even to myself.

I'm writing and writing, enjoying myself in letting the stories in my head to come out. I do it for the sake of my own enjoyment, even as I know that it won't be Belldom usually, that it won't be read or commented by many because of what it is. I accept that that's what happens, even if it hurts. I'm currently writing on a Belltin fic for a prompt from [community profile] panicpalooza  about a Soulmate AU, slowly shaping it up but making sure that it won't be ridiculously long to be read. 

That's all I can say of at the moment. Maybe once in a while, I will do this, to sit or lie down, and write my thoughts out.
cherrylng: (Default)
2017-04-18 09:26 pm

(no subject)

Posting my fic for the first time in DW, I'm reminded of my teenage years in what was it like posting fics on LJ before its uplifted appearance.

It was a pain in the ass and HTML is really the way to go.

There's good news, however. I've finally posted the fic I've mentioned before. Go and check it out!

-->CLICK CLICK ON THIS LINK FOR SOME BUNNY!MATT<--

cherrylng: (Chris and Maffoo 2)
2017-04-15 07:50 pm

When nostalgia hits you hard

I'm staring at the Rich Text format as I post my first journal entry in years and the very first one in DW, and I can't believe how much things have changed that the screen alone hits me with nostalgia of how I first started out in LJ. Just staring at it alone brings back memories of the struggle and frustration of learning how to use Rich Text without fucking up the format, how much I relied on HTML and learning basic coding before LJ made things simpler and actually efficient to post stuff, how much joy in finding another source of releasing my creativity and imagination, like... the simpler days, man.

I'm writing on several of my stories, keeping 3 tabs for Google Docs opened. Two of them are actively updated, while the third tab is used to change in between other stories that my brain urges me to update on. At any moment, I'm updating and editing seven stories alone... I think. There might've been more than seven. More like ten if I'm stretching it.

And yes, I am updating on The Tax Collector. The next chapter for it won't come anytime soon, but parts of it are fixed to make it flow more smoothly for how the story will go! I intended to make it a mini-series and I intend to keep it that way!

As for what else I'm writing on the two active tabs on Google Docs... well, one is for an old one and one is a new one ;)

cherrylng: (Default)
2015-10-11 02:15 am

Friends locked


Following some circumstances and been thinking about it I decided that my user page is
Friends Locked...

If you want to be my friend, I only accept people who often comment in my fanfiction and/or reply back my comments.

Your second choice is to comment here and explain why. I'll think about it. Nicely.

My fanfiction archive is in blacknwhitefics, if you want to know where it is...
cherrylng: (YumenokanataeAoi)
2013-10-26 06:13 pm
Entry tags:

The Borough Market is a place where I love and hate to go. And I'm not kidding.

For the last 2 times I visited there, truth be told, I always feel excited at first. But then when my excitement wears down, I always tend to sense that I overstayed my welcome, even when in reality, I'm not. But that feeling still lingers to me, and it makes me feel like an asshole, I get scared, and wish that I leave as soon as possible.

I actually really like to visit markets, looking at meats, fruits and vegetables and food made and sold there. But lately whenever I visit the Borough Market and leave, I feel like my experience going there is like a disappointment. Sometimes I feel like I'm threatening people's lives for their jobs and duties whenever I open my mouth and say something I shouldn't say before quickly defending myself to make sure that I don't fall into more trouble than I should with my stupid mouth.

But just as much as I feel like an asshole for doing that and admit and agree that it's the employee's right to intervene when I break the rules right in front of them or admit it out loud, sometimes I think of what it's like to oblige the rules and laws made out of fear rather than respect or nonchalance.

At the same time though, it makes me think that I should stay at home rather than go outside and offend a whole lot of people from my stupidity, naivety, and ignorance. Which makes me feel shittier in a couple of hours than I do in a day or two.

That's allー(· A ·)
cherrylng: (YumenokanataeAoi)
2013-10-01 07:15 pm
Entry tags:

What the hell have I been doing?

My second year in Uni started. And so far, I literally have not felt like I've done much during my summer holidays, even though I did, but they are few and far between.

At the same time, I feel frustrated that I only got 4 KenxHyde stories posted so far, and haven't been writing with my favourite pairings. It doesn't upset me that there's not many Jrock pairings that really interested me since 1) they're the mainstream pairings, 2) some of my favourite writers have not been active, and 3) although there's a shit ton of other fanfiction to sate me, they just don't really satisfy me.

I feel like I WASTED MY MONTHS NOT WRITING AS MUCH AS I USED TO ON AN AVERAGE PER MONTH  (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

I think at the very least, I should try to write, finish and post them. I itch to write.

I want my mind to go beyond the story that's been playing over and over and make new ones, no matter if it's domestic, a little dirty or adventurous.

That's allー(· ∀ ·)
cherrylng: (YumenokanataeAoi)
2013-06-14 02:31 pm

Welp

I thought that feeling of my heart dying in me was familiar. It's the me that felt her world shattered apart in 2010.

I don't feel betrayed at all with how KENZO is leaving AYABIE. It's his decision, and his to take. I just feel like something died in me again.

Ayabie is really a band that I should not have been bonded to too much in the past, because the bad news that they give really, really hurts. I know that they're almost like other bands who don't really explain all that much of their decisions, but the ones that do shows a bit of honesty and reason behind it. I think that's what makes their announcements for bad things hurt so much.

It tends to be those bands that have been established for a while now that hurts the most.

And I think that suddenly, the direction of where my plotting mind is going is going to be scary. I don't like that, but that's how my mind works.

Welp, time to put the decision on how to deal with my OTP, KenzoxAoi. I either write them or put them down in hiatus for the moment to mend myself up.

That's allー(Q A Q)
cherrylng: (YumenokanataeAoi)
2013-05-07 12:44 am
Entry tags:

Not surprised, but still feel disappointed

I checked on the final results of the recent Malaysian election. Honestly, since December, I was not entirely surprised that BN will win with the way rigged elections go. I even told that to my parents and their friends and my high school teachers, and they agreed with me. However, there's this sense of disappointment inside me.
I'm asking myself on what are the disappointments. )
That's allー(· A ·)
cherrylng: (Default)
2012-11-08 12:35 am
Entry tags:

An Cafe live at O2 Academy Islington 7/11

I'm kind of suffering a slight headache which might be either from inhaling too much carbon dioxide or the strobe lights giving me a slight epileptic side effect. Or both.

Anyway, I can explain it as much as I can before my mind will erase part of it. Bear in mind that this is my first live report, so I'm not good at explaining the details as fine as most do.

To the report that I try to salvage? )

That's allー(· ∀ ·)
cherrylng: (Default)
2012-09-10 06:17 pm
Entry tags:

Why am I considered partly hardcore again...?

Today I had a dental implant for my lost teeth. So far the first stage was quite fast to finish in just an hour or so. It wasn't so bad having a metal crammed up to my upper jaw, despite the dentist letting me see snapshots of my gum got cut to reveal the membrane inside it and how he explained that the surgery could've failed if the bone cracked by the metal during the bone grafting session.

Great.

The reason why I only know that after the surgery was because I requested to have my eyes covered over by a sheet so that the less I see, the less I know and worry.

It was only when the anaestathic began to wear off that the nightmare started.

First, agonizing pain. I don't know if it's the same or worse than that time when I had my wisdom teeth extracted. But since I can eat small bits of food, that is somewhat a shining light. Because of the pain, I can't smile or pull my upper lip up to assess the damage. Even my huner got stave off because of the pain.

Next, blood. Constant bleeding. And just to add the nightmarish element, a blood ball was formed and it looked horrible, as you can imagine. Crimson red bordering to black. Then it fell off and landed on my tongue when I was napping to take off some of the pain after taking painkillers.

I know unimaginable pain will happen after the surgery, but it still hurts. There was so much blood in my mouth that I got pretty used to the taste by now. I feel as though a membrane is trying to grow around my front teeth in order to heal the soft tissues....

That doesn't mean that this should pull you off from having dental surgeries, because eventually it'll get better. And hey, a metal crammed up to my jaw to become part of the family.

I've had root canal surgeries, had a dead tooth pulled off, got my wisdom teeth extracted, and now a dental implant. I'm more used to having a needle stabbed to my mouth than on my arm. So I'm somewhat hardcore to tolerate through all that pain.

Now I just need a week or two to get over with the pain.

That's allー(· ∀ ·)
cherrylng: (Default)
2012-07-19 08:04 am
Entry tags:

About hearing Versailles stopping their activities...

Here's what's going on in my mind:

Conspiracy me: I KNEW IT! THEY'RE SCARED OF THE MAYAN PREDICTION TOO!

Common sense me: No. They're stopping probably because they're no longer sure on what to do.

Conspiracy me: WHY WOULD THEY SUDDENLY STOP, HUH? 

Common sense me: Management problems, 'musical' differences, anything. Mostly, you can already tell that they don't know what to do once they've done everything in their list.

Conspiracy me: SO THE SIGNS OF THEIR BAND ENDING HAS BEEN THERE ALL ALONG! WHAT ABOUT THAT WEIRD DRAMA THEY MADE A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO?

Common sense me: It was probably their idea, or management's. I don't know!

Conspiracy me: LOOK AT ALL THESE BANDS THAT ARE DISBANDING HERE, THERE AND EVERYWHERE! IT'S A FUCKING RECORD THIS YEAR!

Common sense me: This year is just probably having a depression since last year and many of them probably couldn't finance their activities.

Conspiracy me: THEY'RE ALL SCARED! SCARED AS HELL--

Real me: SHUT UP YOU TWO!!!

Conspiracy & Common sense me: *freezes*

Real me: It's already announced and there's nothing we can do but painfully accept it, okay?! =^=

Conspiracy me: Okay...

Common sense me: Sorry...

Real me: =^= *tears on eyes remembering what happened two years ago that changed her perspective of life*

Common sense me: I wish it didn't hurt at all when we see such news...

Conspiracy me: I just wish 'stop' and 'pause' would have the same meaning... and that they'll come back...

Real me: Q ^ Q *huggles them both* I just wish this isn't deja vu...

That is how I feel so far hearing bad news as soon as I woke up...

That's allー(Q A Q)
cherrylng: (Default)
2012-07-07 09:51 pm
Entry tags:

What to do with this term's coursework...

I have to do a Powerpoint presentation and a coursework for this term's FES, which is now called FSS, and I have two choices in my mind:

Sherlock Holmes and its impact in fanfiction or,

Al Bowlly

I didn't know what to choose at first but in the I chose the latter, because the teacher told me that Sherlock Holmes is too common of a subject... and I have no interest in Sherlock Holmes, to be honest.

So Al Bowlly and his brilliant voice it is!



And this is how I relax other than listen to Yann Tiersen and classical music |3

That's allー(· ∀ ·)
cherrylng: (Default)
2012-06-11 12:53 pm

I'm branching out?!

Although I don't have Tumblr (nor do I want one because of its messy search system), I've been visiting it just for the pretty pictures and humour. Then I stumbled about JGV - Japanese Gay Video gifs

...Helloooooooo delicious stuffs~

It was already somewhat NSFW in the first place since I'm talking about people from the pornography industry XD )


Long post, long post~

That's allー(· ∀ ·)
cherrylng: (Default)
2012-06-06 07:58 pm
Entry tags:

Half a year, why so soon?! D:

I hate it when they say that if you live through life day by day, within a blink of an eye, suddenly it feels like it's too fast D:

Now I can't even remember if some songs were made this year or last year owo

College and exams and insecurity for my future... )



Ehhh... Yummy Takanori Nishikawa? XD

I'll think of the possibility of writing a story by pairing him up with Tetsuya or Gackt ;3

That's allー(· ∀ ·)
cherrylng: (Default)
2012-05-22 02:09 pm
Entry tags:

That kind of explains why Bach's music has been in head for a while...

Looks like Aoi found out that his dad passed away today.

I can't really tell a person's emotion just by deciphering words. Only they can use it to write out on how they feel.

But whatever he may write and post up soon, I know that he has done what any son would do to his father by visiting him until his last days. If his father doesn't want to see sadness, that may be true that his father has lived life till its fullest after his mother died 5 years ago.

Now Aoi only has his little sister, grandmother and dog left.

As I should, I must say this: Rest in Peace, Aoi's father. You've given us a man to be loved and an artist to be respected. And in return, you gave him someone to look up on as a role model and a father.

I think this quote is quite fitting on when we realise that people will leave us someday. Though I'm not sure if the Queen would say that since, well, we expect that royalty doesn't cuss or swear. But still, fitting.

Queen Elizabeth II
cherrylng: (Default)
2012-04-16 11:18 am

O A O

I've just read Manabu's new blog entry...

06/29(金) Zepp Tokyo
■AREA 15th ANNIVERSARY
出演:彩冷える(V.葵/G.夢人/G.タケヒト/B.インテツ/Dr.KENZO)/R指定/Kra/SCREW/ダウト/Moran 
OPEN16:30/START17:15
前売¥5,000/当日¥5,500(税込,D代別)
公演詳細はコチラ→http://xxxrecords.jp/area_15th.html
04/28(土)~一般発売開始
チケットぴあ 0570-02-9999(Pコード:168-748)
ローソンチケット 0570-084-003(Lコード:76312)
イープラス http://eplus.jp
info:H.I.P. 03-3475-9999 / http://www.hipjpn.co.jp

Ayabie together again for one day for the first time in two years...? O A O

... ... 

It's been two years.

Two. Years.

DENIAL MODE: KNOB TURNED OVER 11 AND BROKE OFF THE MACHINE

I... I just can't believe that they'll be on that stage in Zepp Tokyo for just one day... And they'll be practising for a few days before that date...

Wouldn't... Wouldn't it be awkward after presumably that they have not much contact for the last 2 years?

I've been a fan of them for 3 years now, and even after my heart broke seeing them separate in order to go on and I still supported them, my mind seem to can't take that info in too well that the possibility of that short reunion is there.

I don't even know if this is big change or not ._.

Someone console me? ; A ;

 That's allー(; ∀ ;)

PS: Would it blow my mind for me to think if that might be the other Aoi (the GazettE)? ;w;

PSS: MANABU, DON'T LIE TO ME, I'M STILL QUITE SHOCKED BY THAT ANNOUNCEMENT.

cherrylng: (Default)
2012-03-11 10:44 am
Entry tags:

3/11

It's been a year by now. I can see that many are still struck by that horrible event that happened a year ago. But we moved on, no matter how painful it is to look back and reflect on it.

I've seen what happened on the internet after that. Scandals, fools using the Pearl Harbor and karma references, the aftershocks, the radiation, the grief, the strength to repair the nation, that sense of hopelessness etc...

Seems like we've seen it all, eh?

But even now, a year later, my yearning to go to Japan never died. My parents, especially my mom, doesn't want me to go there in fear of the radiation and cancer. Maybe they know that no matter what, I'm still seeking for a place that I can call it truly "home"?

Then I thought, why do we think of ourselves before others? The Japanese and many others are already suffering from it and they'll never know when the side effects of radiation will get to them. And yet, despite the anger and frustration of knowing so little of how bad it is, we can still see, that like us, we want to never forget, but always remember that life goes on.

I love the country that I was born in, it's home in a sense. But it's also not the home that I want to live on, so in the future, I want to let myself wander and find out where and when can I settle down. I love Japan too, because it's one of the few things that helped made me discover and learn a lot of things that we never thought about or overlooked.

We never forget events that shook our lives in this generation. 

It has been a year now, my friends. Let's live our lives to the fullest no matter what.

That's allー(· ∀ ·)
cherrylng: (Default)
2012-02-29 03:21 am
Entry tags:

If you asked....

Then yes, I did changed my layout.

If only because my Acid Black Cherry picture for removed by Photobucket of all things, so the next best thing that I can find other than Plastic Tree was Sugizo. But it was better than having a black screen all the way >w>;

That's allー(· ∀ ·)
cherrylng: (Default)
2012-02-15 10:21 pm
Entry tags:

It's been a while that I actually laughed till I cry


Yep, if ballads were really this realistic and crazy I would be satisfied to the world. XDDD

That's allー(· ∀ ·)