If we were to meet, it would be Mahoroba

For the last 2 times I visited there, truth be told, I always feel excited at first. But then when my excitement wears down, I always tend to sense that I overstayed my welcome, even when in reality, I'm not. But that feeling still lingers to me, and it makes me feel like an asshole, I get scared, and wish that I leave as soon as possible.

I actually really like to visit markets, looking at meats, fruits and vegetables and food made and sold there. But lately whenever I visit the Borough Market and leave, I feel like my experience going there is like a disappointment. Sometimes I feel like I'm threatening people's lives for their jobs and duties whenever I open my mouth and say something I shouldn't say before quickly defending myself to make sure that I don't fall into more trouble than I should with my stupid mouth.

But just as much as I feel like an asshole for doing that and admit and agree that it's the employee's right to intervene when I break the rules right in front of them or admit it out loud, sometimes I think of what it's like to oblige the rules and laws made out of fear rather than respect or nonchalance.

At the same time though, it makes me think that I should stay at home rather than go outside and offend a whole lot of people from my stupidity, naivety, and ignorance. Which makes me feel shittier in a couple of hours than I do in a day or two.

That's allー(· A ·)

I thought that feeling of my heart dying in me was familiar. It's the me that felt her world shattered apart in 2010.

I don't feel betrayed at all with how KENZO is leaving AYABIE. It's his decision, and his to take. I just feel like something died in me again.

Ayabie is really a band that I should not have been bonded to too much in the past, because the bad news that they give really, really hurts. I know that they're almost like other bands who don't really explain all that much of their decisions, but the ones that do shows a bit of honesty and reason behind it. I think that's what makes their announcements for bad things hurt so much.

It tends to be those bands that have been established for a while now that hurts the most.

And I think that suddenly, the direction of where my plotting mind is going is going to be scary. I don't like that, but that's how my mind works.

Welp, time to put the decision on how to deal with my OTP, KenzoxAoi. I either write them or put them down in hiatus for the moment to mend myself up.

That's allー(Q A Q)