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May. 9th, 2017 10:35 pmWhenever I look at other people's journal entries online, I think back of mine, the ones that I wrote at long lengths years ago. But then after 2013, I just stopped. I just kept my thoughts to myself. If anyone wanted to know what I think to say, I tell them in chat messages, but rarely or never as a post.
In some ways, it's seen as a sign of maturing to the older people in my life and the imaginary ones in my head, because I'm actually thinking before I say things. But at the same time, it feels... isolating. To be this cautious as a young adult compared to the times when I was a teenager and learning stuff and talking... is it really worth it for me to let myself become this quiet? Like a known entity, yet an enigma at the same time, even to myself.
I'm writing and writing, enjoying myself in letting the stories in my head to come out. I do it for the sake of my own enjoyment, even as I know that it won't be Belldom usually, that it won't be read or commented by many because of what it is. I accept that that's what happens, even if it hurts. I'm currently writing on a Belltin fic for a prompt from![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
panicpalooza about a Soulmate AU, slowly shaping it up but making sure that it won't be ridiculously long to be read.
That's all I can say of at the moment. Maybe once in a while, I will do this, to sit or lie down, and write my thoughts out.
In some ways, it's seen as a sign of maturing to the older people in my life and the imaginary ones in my head, because I'm actually thinking before I say things. But at the same time, it feels... isolating. To be this cautious as a young adult compared to the times when I was a teenager and learning stuff and talking... is it really worth it for me to let myself become this quiet? Like a known entity, yet an enigma at the same time, even to myself.
I'm writing and writing, enjoying myself in letting the stories in my head to come out. I do it for the sake of my own enjoyment, even as I know that it won't be Belldom usually, that it won't be read or commented by many because of what it is. I accept that that's what happens, even if it hurts. I'm currently writing on a Belltin fic for a prompt from
panicpalooza about a Soulmate AU, slowly shaping it up but making sure that it won't be ridiculously long to be read. That's all I can say of at the moment. Maybe once in a while, I will do this, to sit or lie down, and write my thoughts out.
