(no subject)

[cherrylng]

Whenever I look at other people's journal entries online, I think back of mine, the ones that I wrote at long lengths years ago. But then after 2013, I just stopped. I just kept my thoughts to myself. If anyone wanted to know what I think to say, I tell them in chat messages, but rarely or never as a post.

In some ways, it's seen as a sign of maturing to the older people in my life and the imaginary ones in my head, because I'm actually thinking before I say things. But at the same time, it feels... isolating. To be this cautious as a young adult compared to the times when I was a teenager and learning stuff and talking... is it really worth it for me to let myself become this quiet? Like a known entity, yet an enigma at the same time, even to myself.

I'm writing and writing, enjoying myself in letting the stories in my head to come out. I do it for the sake of my own enjoyment, even as I know that it won't be Belldom usually, that it won't be read or commented by many because of what it is. I accept that that's what happens, even if it hurts. I'm currently writing on a Belltin fic for a prompt from panicpalooza  about a Soulmate AU, slowly shaping it up but making sure that it won't be ridiculously long to be read. 

That's all I can say of at the moment. Maybe once in a while, I will do this, to sit or lie down, and write my thoughts out.

Comments

[reilaflowers]

I have become so careful about what I write online, compared to even five years ago. It may not seem that way, but I am carefully re-reading everything before I posted. My facebook in particular is just pictures of dogs now with a generic, none offensive, post in between. I'm scared to put anything personal there.

LJ, or Dreamwidth now, is my personal place. The one place I talk freely online but even here I've typed things and deleted what I've wrote. There's plenty of entries I write that may be seen as too free. For instance I don't hesitate to say that I don't believe in God, but in those entries I write them removing anything that can be seen as offensive by those who do believe.

Self censorship is a sign of maturity, for those who grew up using the internet to speak freely, but don't confuse not sharing your feelings at all with censoring them. It's fine to have an opinion, and if you can defend and explain it then it's an educated one.

What I do think should be removed, is when people use their blogs just to moan. Bad thing happens to you, sure write about it, but if that bad thing is that you were splashed by a bus and had to spend the day soaking wet and how terrible the world is blah blah blah? Nobody wants to read that.

[cherrylng]

The line that makes the difference between self-censorship and not sharing your feelings can be paper thin at times. One can react aggressively with what you dare to share of your feelings due to the fact that they can't tell the two apart at times.

Is whining a bad thing, though? I am just as capable of whining as well, I'm not invulnerable to it. But I shut myself up at around certain types of people. The reason I want to whine can vary in topics, but mostly it's out of wanting and hoping that someone can listen, and just say "that sucks" instead of trying to seek solutions.
It can be hard to for people to sympathise when you whine, even for myself, but it's like, you just want to let that steam of frustration out of you and you can't because someone is bound to say "Oh yeah? So-and-so had a worse day than you, and yours is only a minor thing! Stop whining like a brat" :\

[tamarelmensdorp]

Sharing things can be a weird thing. Personally I think you can share anything you feel comfortable with sharing. I don't agree that you shouldn't share that you got soaking wet because you got splashed by a bus. There is absolutely no harm in whining a bit about the ordinary things in life. People can choose to read it or not.
Writing about your feelings can be hard at times, and scary. But maybe that's just the reason why you should. When you're writing things down, they can get clearer for yourself. Of course that doesn't mean you have to share it. I'm keeping a journal for myself. Writing things down, gets them out of my head, even if it's only for a while. But that journal is just too personal. I would never share that anywhere.
But sharing things can also have a positive effect. People can understand you better, or just know what you're going through. They might even be able to help you in some way.
Just always be sure that you're comfortable with whatever it is you want to share. It's all about you.